Twilight Saga

No boundaries can define this emotion that intertwines.  It’s subjective to its many kinds.  It varies from time to time.  Sometimes it’s malignant,  And sometimes it’s benign.  It’s a feeling that ought to be unleashed.  I regret many things, Especially when I let my ego come in the way. Today was that day, SR 240 was already paid.  It wasn’t the money that I stole or waste. It was the moment that will never come again.  It was my children’s right, and I should have been more wise. But sometimes, just sometimes I think I’m vain.  Today was that day, that I stole their happiness away. I was in two boats, where I should have said it’s okay. But fear got to me yet again And I instead of acting in faith, surrendered to feared fate. The gate to regret, and guilt, and shame. What if their revision is not done? What if they mess up their exam tomorrow? What if this wasn’t done in the first place?  The what if game, didn’t allow me to live the ...

  I’d like to thank you, to express my gratitude. I acknowledge the fact that I’m bringing you up against the society’s normal latitude.   I admit I am different, and sometimes show you attitude  Excuse me for all that you think is rude, crude and shrewd  But, believe me when I say this,  I have more numbers in my pocket.  I can cage the essence of the socket  For I carry age…that’s different in my locket. I’ve walked the path,  And I’ve    tread the way.  Self-discovery came to me at quite a later stage.  Thus, I want to give you all that in advance. Make you see and have a glance! To all there is, and all that can be. Remember one thing, l am yours for eternity.  You have grown today,  You do have many ways.  To convenience me,  Or to ashame. Life comes in many shades Yours is to yours, and mine is to mine to taste  All I’ll say is to remember Thy Grace,  And thy fate. When thy ate, that acted as...

I will not scold you. I will not hurt you.  I will not tell you  That you had a great fall.  But I will call for you.  Call  الله  and ask Him to forgive you. I know you.  You were stressed. I know you. You    wanted the best. But my teaching is not for this world. But the one that is promised to us from above.  So, fear not if you fail. Fail in this wretched race.  This does not define you how you ace.  Ace the test paper of life and it’s phase. Remember my child, this is a transient phase. The eternal is yet to embraced.  Cheat not. For it can change your fate.  Take the bate  And fight the fate With humility,  And with Grace.  With tranquility  And internal faith.  For life is just a temporary phase.  

Humility. Honesty.  Integrity.  These are the qualities.  They bare no reward in mortality. But when the hammer hits the gong. They’ll be hit by the striking sword. That’s when the era will set the norm. The promised immortality will have them gone. Immoral are those who care no more.  For the righteous soul.  Or the hidden, promised goal.  Bribe is easy.  Strive is hard.  Journey is twisted,  Be it near or far.  Those who think they’re smart.  Don’t realize it’s nothing but a facade.  I notice your hardships, I know your ruthlessly received blast kicks. Fear not.  Be Strong!  Faith is a knot.  Fate will be caught.  Pun of words.  Play of ways. You should’ve by now mastered your sway.  Act it out.  Hold on to the ground.  What goes around, comes around.  Time will tell.  Who did compel.  That’s the reason you never fell.  Fell for fear,  Fell for bribe. Fell for v...

 Not many understand the words due.  They rattle. They shake. They wish. They fake. Sometimes they are too late.  I think! I feel! I believe! In my opinion!  I’m not a minion.  I have five senses, that entice the sixth I have. I was taught as a child not to walk the world without the third eye. I see, I perceive, I observe, I serve.  I do not follow the herd.  It takes me a long time to be heard. But I, I never deny.  The hue, and the cry.  Our culture. Our men. Our entire descent.  Do not comprehend, our gratitude, our lament.   We bid farewell to what we’ve flourished in and grown. Just to bare seed to a new tree.  We produce, we provide, we nurture, we strive.  To hear that... So WHAT? You are not the only one of your kind. Visualize the calamity you men bestow.  Uproot a tree, and plant it in new garden to grow.  It’s not a seed that will either die, or sprout from the source.  It’s a tree, you have plan...

Enough of talking about me.  Let’s unravel what I see. Years have gone by.  Moments unyield. I have seen you evolve from CCIE.  Nothing has changed, but the vision I see  I see an entrepreneur in you. An innovator indeed. A source of new ideas  A mechanical machine.  Troubleshooting services  Goods delivered with FERVOR   FAITH and FATIGUE . I see an entrepreneur in you. An innovator indeed. You might not agree  May not see what I see.  I can prove to be an author,  and your secretory I’d always like to be. I smell risks.  It might not be brisk.  But I see bliss, every time we kiss.  I miss your presence. I miss your fist.  I miss sharing my to do list.  I see an entrepreneur in you. An innovator a mist  Connect the dots.  Conquer the spots. Numbers are lots.  Sieve the the clots.  There many onboard.  Recognize them with grace and galore  You will realize... In all this commot...

Sarim needs a bed. Sarim needs a chair.  I need the dishwasher fixed.  I need some care.  I know it’s tough for you.  But you are a MAN, the larger part of the word ‘WO- MAN.’ WO Without WO Warrant Officer WO Work Order WO Week Of  Ever wondered what’s that for?  A man was incomplete  without  a woman.  So, God created her to complete the work order. I got migraine, after I had a man I got nervous breakdown, after I had a man I got vertigo, after I had a man I got pregnant, after I had a man I got fat, after I had a man  Because, it took more energy to make that man a HUMAN.  A being who cares, A being that never flares.  A being that believes in our welfare. Today, you have changed into who I’d embrace. Today, I’m opening my secrecy doors, For you alone.  A diary I’d never share.  Because I know you care. And that is why we’re here.  It took me long, to understand your flair.  It took me long, to comprehend...

Am I unhappy, or am I sad?  I am none of the above I know that!   I have reasons to believe, life is beautiful indeed.  I didn’t change my name, but I believe, I’d set myself on flames.  I hate self-pity, and I don’t intend to complain.  But ever since I’ve been married,  Ever since my destination changed,  I’ve strived for recognition.  I’ve starved for public praise.  Strange, that people’s comments never pair.  It’s you I’ve gone after.  It’s you I have chased. And now, I am tired, and I’m drained.  I want to be MYSELF  again.  I want to be ME , I want to be FREE   Free to work, or not to work.  Free from people’s comments that hurt.  Sensitive I am. Sensitive I was.  Sure you saw that, on the first call.  But you ignored that, and wanted to change.  Rather than embrace nature’s call.  You made me fall one and all And today, today I feel my roots are weak  And I can fall....

I am an analyst,  and that is all that I am.  I want to sit back and relax.  There are people,  who are always on the go,  And I don’t understand why can’t they go slow.  There is always something happening. They are always on a quest. On the other hand, I am at my best When I express. Express to myself in silence all alone.  Have you ever wondered:  “What did she ever want?” “How did she want to spend her life?” “What does happiness mean to her?”  And, I another victim of culture,  Set out to tick off my inherent checklist. A checklist I never created for myself.  ✅ Married ✅ Obedient  ✅ Responsible ✅ Educated ✅ Parenting  ✅ Supportive  ✅ Average Looking All I ever wanted was to be an author. Write my imaginations. Act like a bird. Soar high. FLY, touch the SKY. No cry! No try! Just fly. I still remember my father pushing me to live my dream. He used to say, “ You’ll get married yaar, what’s the hurry.” I bought time...

  Life is a roller coaster ride.  I guess that’s why it is life, and not alive.  A minute of 😡 anger. A second of 😁 joy. A mind. A chain!  Linked with all the past, present, and future constraints. Driving me insane.   Some held tight. Some let loose.  I do worry for the lives, that God ordained on me to groom.  Like any woman of commitement, I have my highs and my lows. Agonizing moments.  Unvotunered decisions.  Payback of rejected suggestions. And still, still I c are for him above all.  I want to let go, but my kids hold me from doing so.  They ask me,”Do I hav e a choice?” I always said, “Yes!” But now, today, I say,”NO!” Is it culture? Is it love? Is it commitement?  Is God? Is it fate? Or  Is it jut hope?  I don’t know what it is, except that SAM is my strength, and my weakness in all.  And for them, just them I will go and embrace all odds.  I shed a tear or two today, for my Ma nahil went wrong in...

I’m on a, “Yes Sir! Contract” I can’t express. That’s me. Been married for 14+ years struggling to make my spouse understand me, but irony has me struggled. A word out of my mouth is nothing, but complain. Strange ain’t it. I stay without him most of the month, managing my odds. BUT I COMPLAIN.  I can’t drive, but I complain.  I’m not allowed to go for shopping with friends, but I complain.  I’m not allowed to go to Pakistan to my family, but I complain.  I’m made to attend school in Pakistan that’s two  hours time difference from here, but I complain  Maybe, I’m still getting used to the concept of at least.  At least, I am alive, and  I don’t have any serious illness. At least, I have a roof above my head, and I am not left on the streets to die. At least, he earns, and is not dependent on me.  At least, I have kids, and that too both genders in breed. At least, I have friends, and can socialize. I’m not alone when he’s not around. At least...